This has been sitting in my spirit for a few days and courage comes late at night so I'm endeavouring to post this via my phone ......
There's this fab lady who I get to do some life stuff with and she funny and loving and caring and nurturing and then she also does these great preaches that slap me round the face.
Recently I heard her talk about the building of our temples and the quarrying of the rocks to build the temple with, and to keep the temple growing we need to keep fashioning the rocks. (You can hear this in the podcast section at www.kerith.co.uk )
I loved it and hated it at the same time. You see I have really been purposeful this year about building and growing - putting scaffolding around me to stabilise and support it and so I felt like if been to the quarry a lot! And I was slightly over the quarry.... The quarry was too painful, too hard. In recent time spent time there and there's been so much bashing and hammering and chipping and breaking there's been no stone left to build with, just feelings scattered as dust on the floor, feelings that run through hands, that get swept under and overlooked, cast aside, valueless, purposeless, that left scars and weakened my temple, there were hurts that kept me away from the quarry, hurts that I allowed to let me settle for less than.
But when God wants you he really wants you, and my spirit is constantly irked by anything or anyone that settles for less. And so this slap around the face reminded me, even when I am less than, even though I deserve so little of His love, I am enough for His ALL, so why do I keep allowing myself to love settle for less than His best.
So I went back to the quarry this week. Me and God alone - about to do some work....and you see "alone" was the key. You see in previous quarrying expeditions I let others in (I'm a sociable girl, like to invite and be invited) and with the others came words that inflicted deep flaws in stones rendering them unstable, actions that crushed my spirit to rubble, lies that trampled truth to dust.... But this time was different - this time it was just the two of us, no distraction, no place to hide.
I'd like to say that Gods hammer and chisel hurts less than mans but it doesn't - but it is different because it's design is to grow and shape and form for purpose- to cut away the rubbish, the edges, to carve beauty and to polish to reflect His glory.
So there's been some chipping and bashing and some bits have been more stubborn than others but I think we together carved a new cornerstone that will under pin the next level of my temple.
Then with the swept under dust and enough tears to fill an ocean (His and mine) we created a cement to secure that cornerstone in place - all those hard times in the quarry no longer wasted/hidden/useless but instead foundational- they are all a part of me.
So girlfriends please be ready for invites to coffee and cocktails, to walk and dance, to chill, be busy, to laugh and cry, to grow and lift each other but from now on the quarrying is only for Him and me.