Wednesday, 25 March 2009

Weebles Wobble

Growing up I had a set of weebles - Weebles were basically little plastic people with circular bottoms and no legs. They looked like eggs, but had painted faces to differentiate between an entire Weeble family: Mum, Dad, brother, sister, baby and dog. They were weighted in the bottom so that if you pushed it over it would just bob right back up again - hence the advertising slogan "weebles wobble but they don't fall down". Hours of fun to be had pushing them over and watching them come back up!!

Well this week I wobbled, lost sight of my purpose, allowed myself to believe the lie that I was in the wrong place, that my talents were not enough, a spirit of fear of failing settled in my heart, this really was momentary, but enlightening.

Weebles bounce back becauase they are weighted and it is what is in their core that means they self right and I after I had cried and a real good friend talked to me and spoke true and honest words over me, reminded me of my purpose and of Gods plan for me I felt that core of me that is rooted in God gently help to put me the right way up again.

I have no doubt that there will be times when I wobble again, but I know that I will right again if my core is solid and to keep it solid I need to work on it. I need to read the right things, put myself in the way of right people, seek good counsel.

Simon, our Senior Pastor has been encouraging us to join in reading the Bible in a year and to be honest I never really got into it at the beginning and then figured it was too late to start now. Well it isn't and so I will start now with the April readings, and yes I will take a few months more than everyone else but everyone needs to start somewhere......and this someone starts here.

Sunday, 15 March 2009

Who am I?

Who am I - lots of blogs I have read start with this as a sort of introduction to the author, something to go give you an insight into them so you can see where they are coming from, and I did think that having got the initial first post out of the way then this would be easy, but I have started it several times and then deleted and started again.

The basics are that I am female and 40 and as adult I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, an aunt - but these all boil down to genetics, and although I am proud to be each one, none of them individually or together define me, which is a good thing because in each of them I have more failings than I care to think about.

I love to craft and make cards, I work as an events manager, I'm part of a drama team, but they are things I do and I learned a few years ago I am a human being not a human doing ( I know I am a slow learner)

As part of my job I have taken a series of tests to see where I fit into our teams - Myers Briggs say I am an ENFJ, and Marcus Buckingham says my strengths are Empathy, Developer, Learner, Connectedness and Communication, but even they are just personality traits I have and people can have the same Myers Briggs score, or set of strengths and yet be hugely different.

And all of these things have changed over the years, 15 years ago I was not a wife or mother, only 1 year ago my Myers Briggs 'E' score was an 'I' as this can be affected by your current situation.

So who am I - the core of me that everything else bolts on to, the bit that defines how I do all the things I do as this 40 year old adult. There must be something that remains constant throughout all of this.

I realised that there was, and to be that I need to stop being the adult, and just be a child, a child of God, for that is the foundation upon which everything else can build and it is the one thing that will not change. This core of who I am was there at my beginning, (even before then) and during the first 30 years of my life when I did not even know it, and it is there now and will always be.

When I started the post I wanted to show that I had been successful and had developed and moved forward in life, that I was a grown up, and that somehow would give me validity as a blogger. Instead I have learned that I will always be a child, always growing, always developing, making mistakes but most importantly that means that I will always have value not just as a blogger but in everything I do.