Oh my, ever feel you set yourself up to fail......how far behind am I, and not for lack of things to be thankful for, for they are there's in abundance. I was tempted to write this off as a bad idea and let it quietly fade away but I am fed up of giving up.
You see I really am not one of lives long term completers, I am great with the short term project stuff, organising the events at works and pulling them together for others but the long term stuff I need in my life I am rubbish with.
I read these blogs by organised mums with immaculate laundry cupboards and tupperware organised pantries and get inspired and will have a mad flourish and sort through the towels and bedding by size and colour, or rearrange the kitchen cupboards and sort the dreaded junk drawer that every kitchen seems to have, and it feels great and then I don't keep it up. Next time I put the laundry away I'm in a rush so just pile the towels in, or in a quick kitchen tidy I sweep all bits and bobs into that drawer before the guests arrive. Then each time I grab a towel or search for the lemons zester I am confronted with my failure to maintain order, to keep it up.
I don't seem to have stick ability, even when I can see success I get derailed. My weightloss is a prime example, I know what to do, I have done it with 4 stone worth of success and yet for the last 4 months you would think I had never heard of low fat food! Every day I make decisions that sabotage my own growth and well being.
And it is so easy after the first, let alone 6th or 19th failure to just stop trying, to believe the lies that I'm not built for long haul, to give in to food temptations, to resign myself to accept that I lack commitment to my own well being.
Or I can accept that I am all that I am, that all I have need for is already within me, that I need to dig deep and find it, that I need to start things with no end in sight and just do them because they are good for me and those around me and because I know they are part of Gods plan for me to have a better life.
David also said to Solomon his son, "Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished. (1 Chronicles 28:20 NIV)
So today I will carry on, not a new start, but under Gods grace a continuance and will be thankful not only for that grace but also for knowing that He promises He will take my humble offerings and messy life and make it beautiful.
In the words of the Gungor song ( click below to listen)
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You
Beautiful things by Gungor